please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A bitchslap is in order.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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