You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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