it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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