If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wear drunk well.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
