This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
nutella sex= disaster
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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