i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
