OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
