Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
