I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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