yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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