Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize