craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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