finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
