I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize