Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
