Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
