I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
