Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
