And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
