Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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