I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
