I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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