OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
