I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
