His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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