My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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