I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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