I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
