you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
