Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Randomize
