I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
