Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
