But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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