Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
