Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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