You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
