shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
