I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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