i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
