just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
