after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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