yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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