Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
