I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
