you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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