I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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