one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
