She's JV to your varsity
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
