I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize