i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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