that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
