normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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