cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
