that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize