Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We're too hungover to prance.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
