Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
