i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
