sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
