Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
